is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
