I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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