I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
