Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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