What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
