I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
