Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
