Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
