Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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