Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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