You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
