Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
even my farts smell like vagina
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
