Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
