Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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