This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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