He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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