This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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