he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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