If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she peed on how many people?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
