Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
