I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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