Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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