i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
