So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize