Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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