we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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