I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
