Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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