I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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