Non-Jews are for practice
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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