why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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