I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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