Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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