wat bout pragnant strippers??
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize