Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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