idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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