when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
