U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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