Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
