i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
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Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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