Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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