If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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