Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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