I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
