I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
