4 words: hood of his car
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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