after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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