We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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