Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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