I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he puts the penis in happiness.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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