Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
