i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They have beer where we have blood.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize