They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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