Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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