...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
