You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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