I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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