She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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