this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
