Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
