he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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