what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
